Matchmaker, Matchmaker Make me a...Hire?

As a Recruiter, my day is spent assessing whether or not someone, as a candidate, would be a fit for a role within an organization. I’m essentially a career matchmaker.  So you can imagine, as a single woman, the last thing I want to do when I get home from work is be a romantic matchmaker for myself. Scrolling through a profile on LinkedIn is painfully similar to scrolling through profiles on one of the multiple dating apps I have on my phone, and I’m not here for it. Or should I be? Maybe applying more of what works with recruiting could also work with dating since there are so many parallels already. Here’s how I see it...


Step 1: Sourcing + Swiping 

There are multiple boxes that get checked in the first 5-10 seconds of viewing both my future husband’s profile as well as a candidate’s profile. Starting with the basics- 

  • Location 

  • Education 

  • Open to new opportunities- much easier to determine on a dating app vs LinkedIn

  • Detailed profile

  • Correct grammar 

If *most* of these boxes get checked, there’s no harm in reaching out and sending a LinkedIn message - or swiping right. If there is a match - it’s time for our first-date-slash-interview. 


Step 2: Coordinating and Corresponding 

This step can really make or break what happens next - and a lot of the time ends up being the dealbreaker in both dating and recruiting. There’s an expectation of flexibility on both parties. Meeting outside of typical working hours if it’s a date, and being able to step away from your office for a few hours for an interview. It’s at this stage in both dating and interviewing where there is sometimes drop off. In both scenarios, neither of us are looking for a penpal, and time is money in recruiting. I’m flexible to rescheduling once, but anything more than that makes me question your interest - as a husband or candidate. 

As we start to correspond and coordinate, "candidate crushes" and real life crushes start to develop. There’s nothing better than when a candidate or first date is easy to schedule, replies promptly to emails/texts, sends several options for availability, and answers all of my requests. I always love a good exclamation point too! 


Step 3: The Onsite Interview and The First Date

First rounds of interviews last anywhere from 30-45 minutes, versus first dates that tend to be a bit longer, but not always! Both events start pretty similarly - how was your weekend? Did you travel at all this summer? What do you want to drink? It’s because of these daily professional conversations that I would give myself a 10/10 on breaking the ice. I could keep a conversation going with a wall, and smile through the whole thing. Why I’m still single, I just don’t know. 

In New York, it is against the law for recruiters to ask candidates what their current salary is, so instead I typically ask how they would like to be compensated in their next role. Although it isn’t illegal, I wouldn’t recommend bringing up salary or financial goals on a first...or second date. If things go well, we move forward to the next round of interviews-slash-dates which are longer, involve more resources, and have a slightly increased sense of pressure. 

There’s less small talk and more: do you want kids? Are you looking for a long term relationship? Have you started to picture yourself working here? It’s a bigger commitment of time, and we’re both still exploring the opportunity and assessing if we have a future together- romantic or professional. After all, Interviewing Avenue and Dating Court are two way streets. Both parties need to feel the love or there is no future for either relationship. 


Step 4: Getting Serious...or not. Just Don’t Ghost. 

We’ve come to the end of the road- or rather a fork in the road. Do we make it official with an offer? Decide that we should be exclusive and delete those pesky apps from our phone? Or do we go our separate ways? Rejecting someone from a job opportunity is never easy, but more often than not it ends with a genuine hope that our paths cross again in the future. Let’s just be friends hasn’t gone over as well in dating. 

Agnostic of how things end, ghosting your Recruiter or your date is never ok. You have to pay to play so own it and have the tough conversation! Why is ghosting even a thing? Stay tuned for my thoughts on that at another time. 

For the most part I’m happy to say this is where my recruiting relationships usually flourish. There are job offers made, high fives all around, a shout out in our Slack #WOOHOO channel etc. Of course there are more rejections than hires, but the hires do come in pretty frequently. If I could say the same about my love life I wouldn’t be writing this blog post. It’s been a mix of rejection and rejecting, so until the right candidate comes along, I’ll just keep swiping. 


This post was written by Sydney Gitelson, a Gray Scalable Recruiting Consultant.